**please re-post**

The deadline for workshop submissions for the Queering Femininity Conference is fast approaching.

Submissions must be postmarked by this Monday February 28th.

The deadline for early registration is also this Monday.

We hope this conference will address:

visibility and invisibility • role models • competition
• valuing and undervaluing femininity among queers •
the changing faces of feminism • work • sensuality, sexuality
and sex • presenting queer feminine genders •
whose femininity? variations according to culture,
class, race, and region • feminine gender performance
on the stage and on the street • bridging generations
• age and aging • sexual assault • body issues •
power and empowerment • sex work •
organizing • friendships • relationships

And many more vital, challenging, fun, and exciting topics

But we need you to make this happen

www.femmeconference.org

Send us workshop submissions
Come to the conference
Make your voice heard

well, i'm sick. got sick rather unexpectedly on saturday afternoon, and was miserable all day sunday. now i'm feeling a little better, but i have to go to work soon. i would rather stay home and sleep some more, but i have things that must get done.

the two sad things about being sick right now, aside from the general crapyness, are that i didn't get to go to the play with my mom on sunday (i got us tickets for her birthday) and i'm not going out tonight like i wanted.

sad sad me.

that was my thirty second pity party for myself. i had a much longer one yesterday in the midst of feeling very crappy. i like to keep things in perspective, but everyone once in a while it is nice to just feel sorry for yourself.

ok, i'm done now.

it is such a nice day out... or it was, i just looked out the window and it looks like it is hazing over a tad. that does not negate the original purpose of this post which was to say, not only that it is a beautiful day, but that i don't want to be at work right now. before, while it was still sunny, i wanted to be outside, now i just want to be not here.

and for all of you wondering--my first word was pretty.

i think my biggest problem is that i'm not busy so i'm a little board. i have a lot to do, it just doesn't feel urgent right now so i'm not doing it. i keep feeling like there is something i need to do right now and i just can't figure out what it is.

i just ate some yummy vietnamese salad roles for lunch

in other news: i was so sleepy last night, i just slept and slept and slept and then i couldn't wake up when my alarm went off. i don't know why.

this is why i never update. not much to say.

i'm going to a play with my mom on sunday. it's at the children's theater. for all of the supposed theater in this city, i could not find one play at any of the other houses that looks remotely good for me and my mom to see. therefore we are going to see a play produced for children, but in my experience they are often better then the plays for adults.

i think i should pretend to work now and start wishing for the sun to come back.

i'm so not happy right now that i might be getting sick.
thank you for listening
good buy

don't know what to say. i'm home sick. i feel crappy. this is the third or fourth time i've been sick in the last few months. it makes me wonder what is up with my immune system... hello immune system.... where did you go? and every time i get sick i come up with this whole plan about how i'm going to live a healthier life style... i plan on eating a pure and simple diet, i plan to start working out... i think the infomercials may have something to do with it. which makes me think that i need a library card because there is no more room on my bookshelves so i can't buy the books i want to read so i end up not reading and instead watching infomercials and thinking that the path to true life fulfillment is a steam cleaner and a bowflex.
so yeah, being sick sucks. other than that things are relatively good. work is good, i just feel like i'm never there because i'm always sick. i can't believe i've been there for four months. in some ways it feel so much longer and in some ways it feels like i just started. i guess it's especially weird because i know i'm only going to be there for twelve months, so four months is a third of the time i'll be working there.
my mom is going to take me shopping and buy me sweaters. i'm very excited about this.
well my head is fuzzy and i can't think well, so that's all for now.

i'm sitting in the 'office/spare bedroom' at nine in the morning on a monday drinking tea and updating. it is a strange thing because i should be running around getting ready for work. but i have laundry in the wash, and i can't leave til it is dry. i also have cramps. so i'm pretty ok going in late this morning. i can really work when i want to anyway as long as i get everything done i need to do, and work about forty hours a week. i love this element of my job. but today i do not want to go to work, i want to have a day to myself for contemplation, and cleaning and walks in the neighborhood. i want to play with the cats, and go walk up to the bookstore. i want to buy a book and read it all day and drink tea. reality is that i need to go to work, and even if i didn't i'd need to run to the store and get toilet paper because i'm out... so reality sets in one way or another. but i'm happy now with my moment of tea drinking and livejournaling.
overall it was a good weekend. i saw some people i don't see nearly enough. had dinner with friends twice, and breakfast with a friend once. for the first time in a long time i felt like my weekend was long enough. i wonder if i'm just adjusting to my new schedule or if it was the content that really makes a difference. for the last couple months is been blink and they're gone as far as weekends are concerned.
hmmmm
welcome to my mind this morning! i should post a warning perhaps that if you are not in the mood for quiet introspection do not read this post! oh well, it will self select i'm sure...

it's time for my bi annual, i never update but i'm still around, update!
seriously, i never update. but i'm still around! life has been such an up, down up down, recently... which is to say it's a bit of a roller coaster, but i'm trying not to be so cliched! work was good then bad now good again. we'll see where that goes. the kitties are cute, everything feels like it is heading toward dormancy for winter. i tend to stop being social. i get cold and i like to not leave the house. but i want to be social. blah. the rain finally feels like it is here to stay. after such a strangely sunny prolonged summer this is a bit difficult to deal with.
in other non weather related news... i wrote the most brilliant piece in the shower this morning, only to get out and try to run to find pen and paper while dripping water all over the floor, giving up on that and drying off, sitting down wrapped in a towel with said pen and paper, and write absolute crap. it was gone! after all of that my fabulous wonderful piece had left me. the sad thing it that this happens all of the time. i am at my most creative it seems when i am in the shower. someone please tell me how i can write in the shower. or maybe i need a little tape recorder so i can just recite what i come up with. but it would need to be water proof... do such things exist for a reasonable price? let me know, seriously if you know of anything like that because this is a problem for me.
ok off to work. enjoy the rain seattle people. everyone else, enjoy whatever your local weather system is bringing your way!

just wanted to briefly say that things have been a roller coaster around here, which is why i've been a bit out of the loop. it's been busy and chaotic in more ways than one. crazy scheduling and impending seasonal depression. good times. but this morning is actually looking up. the kitties were very cute. the new one actually let me pet her and she rolled around on the floor in front of me. i was motivated to do things, and now i'm off to work to a very busy day. staying busy is good. if i can just do it all winter. the overly sunny summer and early autumn were like a cruel trick to my system. they also showed me how stupid it is for me to live in a climate like seattle. oh, sunlight, you make all the difference in the world to me. but i love it here. what to do, what to do?

well, i'm back for a minute, mostly just to say i'm alive and well and so sorry i'm being a flaky ljer. life is good, but busy to the max and i can't update from work, which is sadly where i have the most free time on line! oh well. so it goes. but i'm going to try to write a least one meaningful entry each week. that might not start till the middle of october when i have a minute to
breath
i think i need to start writing that into my day planner (not lj but breath) because it seems that thing runs my life these days. there is much little news and not much big news. little news. i have a new kitty, she is finally getting along with the old kitty. they play together. it is cute. little news, i'm going to be in a few shows coming up in the next month or so. not reading poetry though, dancing. this will be a change, challenging, fun. there are many people in my life i should see much more often, and i miss you all a lot. i hope you all know who you are are. i hope to see some of you soon. tonight perhaps? i hope to see all of you soon actually. more little news. new job is going really well. the hours are weird for me and that is mostly what is kicking my ass. i got used to working mornings (6-2) and now i'm working afternoon/evenings (10-6) which is so much better for the sleep, but i end up feeling like there isn't enough time in the day to do what i want to do. i also used to work thirty hour weeks and now i'm working forty hour weeks. that extra day kicks my ass. i will survive, adjust, move on, and finally my work is fulfilling and makes me smile. that is a good thing. life is amazingly good in contrast to the world. i feel so privileged now. we has our first rainy day in a long time last week. it freaked me out because i was sad all day. i could feel my mood changing with the season instantly, like someone threw a blanket over my happiness and snuffed it out. how much of that is expectation, how much biology, and how much anxiety cause i know too well what winter means for me? only time will tell, or perhaps not. but i have so much more in my life now to keep me busy, distracted, happy, or at least not sad i hope. so much for a short post to say i miss you! i've got to go to work, so i'll cut this short a bit. apparently there are things that i need to write though!

well, i'm at my new job and it is fabulous and wonderful! i don't really feel all that comfortable playing on line because my boss is working away right behind me! we work in a little closet sized office, well, a walk in closet, but still pretty small. actually it is more of a small bedroom than a closet, but there are three desks, a filing cabinet, some book shelves, so it's pretty crowded and very close quarters. i am so so so excited about my job, i'm already loving it and i've barely started. so that's the exciting news from here. unfortunately for me i haven't had a lot to do today at work so i've been trying to look busy while doing nothing. i wish there was a little more privacy so i could play on the internet guilt free during the less busy times. ok, guilt is setting in, so i need to go

first day went well, as expected. thank you everyone for your thoughts. the next three weeks will be pretty overwhelming i'm guessing. i'll be learning a lot of new things. but i'll try to keep you all posted. it will in interesting and challenging for sure, and i'm really excited! knowing you all were thinking of me makes me happy!
hope you all have a great weekend. it's my birthday on sunday and ryan apparently has some sort of surprise for me in store.... so that should be fun what ever it is! i'm off to clean the kitchen.

today is my first day at my new job. i'm not too stressed because it is just a two hour meeting! i don't really start until next week. i'm very nervous about that. erica, i really want to hang out tonight. call me, or i'll call you. sounds like the boys are meeting up around seven thirty so we should make plans for dinner and drinks or something fun like that.
hope everyone is having a good day today. i've had a lazy morning, but i've got to go take a quick shower and get to work!

it is nice to be home. i had a great time at my training thing and met a lot of great people. but it feels good to be back in my own house with my own cat my own bed, and my own boyfriend! (not that i had someone else's cat or boyfriend while away...) i start my new job tomorrow so i have today to clean the house, so some laundry, settle back into being home. it is pretty strange going from being with lots of people twenty four hours a day practically, to having a whole day to myself. i think i will visit my parents, and possible have lunch with ryan if he still wants to. i'm going to take a shower and do some laundry now. i also have to find breakfast... hmm, what to eat?

just a quick post to say i'm back! ok, so i never really went anywhere but my internet did, and now i have access at home again! so expect to be updated on my life a bit more often, and i will also be able to catch up on all you all's lives a bit more often as well. i'm going to go away now, but a big update is fast approaching, i can feel it!

still without internet at home
still checking email and lj from my parents once a day
still sad about it
please come back to me internet...
please?

hello all, this is just a friendly public service announcement to let you all know that i am without internet at home temporarily so i will not be updating for little while. hopefully this lack of internet access will be remedied shortly.

in case you missed parts one and two (inevitable sense i don't think i posted them) here is a brief synopsis: my cousin is getting married. this has proved to be a most time consuming and expensive endeavor for me. now i must complete my wedding ensemble. easy, one would think, since i am in fact in the wedding, meaning i don't need to find a dress myself, just pay for it. but no my friends, it is not quite so simple. now i've got the shoes too, but the strapless bra i purchased doesn't in fact fit right or work with the dress, so it is back to the rack to return it and hopefully buy a new one that fits right. only problem is finding one around the same price (12 bucks). so i am here waiting for ryan to come home so we can go on our shopping adventure. contrary to popular stereotypes i tend to hate shopping and he loves it. but the fact that he is sick may cramp his shopping style so it may end up a night of miserable sneezing creatures scuttling around various stores cursing the shopping gods, and my poor cousin of course who honestly doesn't care that much about the wedding in the first place and just wants to be married.

this morning and yesterday i woke up at four fifteen to go to work. i will do it again tomorrow. i'm really not used to this. i'm covering some shifts for my manager who is on vacation. on one hand it is a really great shift because i'm done with work at one in the afternoon. on the other hand, all i want to do when i get home is sleep. i think it would work out well if i could take a quick nap when i got home. but i didn't get a chance to do that today. i had to take my cat to the vet to check on his paw. for those of you are not 'in the know' my cat cut his paw the other day while we were playing and it required an emergency trip to the vet. today we went back and they said everything looks really good. unfortunately it took us about thirty five minutes to get home and we were sitting in traffic in the sun with no air conditioning (it's only about 81 degrees out, but we're really not used to the heat here so if you're from some warm climate and you're laughing at me now... i don't need to hear about it because 81 is hot damn it!). about half way home he started panting and i got pretty worried about him but we made it back. now he is resting and i want to but i'm hot and uncomfortable. i also know that if i sleep now i won't be able to go to sleep at a reasonable time tonight, and, as we all know, i need to get up really fucking early. i need to practice reading this thing i wrote because i'm going to be reading in a show soon (monday) and you should all come see me (and about thirty other people).
when is it, you ask? well, it monday june 9th at re-bar. the show starts at eight (don't know when doors open... sorry) and it is 6-10 dollars. it will be my first time reading my work on stage since i was fourteen, so i would love any and all of the support i can get. ok, i'll probably promote again on the day of or something, but for now, i'm going to go be overheated and try to read some poetry!

so my very straight, somewhat conservative, pretty sheltered cousin is getting married. i am in the wedding, and i just got invited to her bachelorette party. now i'm pretty new to this whole hetero wedding thing, and there is a lot i don't know. but this has been perhaps the most surprising thing thus far. the invitation says "we will be standing in line at **** for their male impersonator show, and their men of paradise after hours show." what the fuck? when i think of male impersonators i think of the way some people talk about drag kings, and i think pretty queer, at least out here on the west coast. am i wrong? do straight women routinely go see drag at their bachalorette partys? is it even drag to begin with? i'm so confused. sadly i won't be able to attend and have my confusion put to rest. but it might be a good thing because if they were drag kings i'd be all "my boyfriend used to do that," and they'd be all "what the fuck?"

i'm trying to write a piece to read at this thing, and i'm not having very much luck... grrr, i hate writing under pressure, and i especially dislike not having an audience to bounce things off of. what if i end up with complete crap and there is no one here to tell me about it? anyway, this makes me cranky.